Football star, high-scoring lawyer and pool manager Joseph Robinette Biden has the answer to the party’s problems. Once again, it’s him.
“Come on boys, put me back in,” is the message from the one presidential nominee who may have hurt his party more than Jimmy Carter. (Hillary Clinton currently identifies as a woman.)
But Joe Biden would like to be back in the game. “Put me in again boys” is the message from the man nobody, including his assistant diaperer-in-chief, wants to ever see again.
Former President Joe Biden has told some Democratic leaders he’ll raise funds, campaign and do anything else necessary for Democrats to recover lost ground as the Trump administration rolls back programs the party helped design, according to people close to him.
There’s only one reason anyone ever donated money to Joe Biden and it wasn’t his skills as a fundraiser.
If he’s really willing to do anything, the best possible thing he could do would be to disappear, go into hiding, move to somewhere exotic, like Rhode Island, change his name to Bob McKinney, pretend that he retired from selling insurance, and bore people with stories about invented fishing trips.
But instead, he wants to come back.
“Who’s going to want Joe Biden back in the game?” said a major Biden supporter, speaking on condition of anonymity to talk candidly about him.
Trump.
Still give Biden points for some remaining clout, since this ‘major Biden supporter’ wants anonymity to state the obvious.
Former first lady Jill Biden is also prepared to campaign and raise money for fellow Democrats as she and her husband settle into life back home in Delaware, a person close to her said.
“She recognizes that serving in the capacities that she served is an honor and it comes with responsibilities to the party. And she’s prepared to help in any way she can,” the person said.
Don’t everybody line up all at once.
Dr. Jill Biden PhD, OD and MST is the single most popular woman in her region of Delaware after all. And her enormous contributions can’t possibly be overlooked. Can they?
Both Bidens are carving out post-presidential lives aside from the partisan political work they’ve volunteered to take on.
Each plans to write a book.
Each. Hasn’t the hardback politician memoir bribing industry suffered enough of a beating with the Clintons. Even Obama’s latest publishing ventures have mostly disappeared. A Jill Biden book would summon almost as much interest as a tell-all inside story of the Tim Walz candidacy.
He has been splitting his time between Delaware and Washington for meetings in office space supplied by the federal government.
At least Qatar and Iran will have an office address to mail him bribes.
Jane Kleeb, a vice chair of the DNC, said in an interview: “If you were to call any state party chair and ask them if they wanted Joe Biden to be a keynote speaker for their annual dinner, the answer would be yes. He is beloved by the party and beloved by the voters.”
Yes. Who could be a better keynote speaker than a confused and incomprehensible old man prone to sexually assaulting women and children of all ages on stage while speaking in a yelling whisper and claiming that his his son died in a kitchen fire in Iraq while being eaten by cannibals.
Biden has no pangs of regret, a person familiar with his private conversations said. He remains defiant and believes Trump’s victory shows the party did itself no favors by pushing him to drop out of the race, the source said.
The sad thing is he’s right. As bad as his candidacy worse, rapidly ousting him and jamming in an unqualified replacement through a process that made North Korean elections seem democratic, and then running a campaign based on ‘joy’ was an even worse move.
The only move worse than that would be bringing him back.
